Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
