Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
