barbara walters just said penis...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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