Screwed.edu
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
