Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
