You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
