Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
