we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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