i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
