nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
