nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
