are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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