Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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