Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
