the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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