I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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