you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize