Plan B is the new Plan A
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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