She's JV to your varsity
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
