Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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