I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
