i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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