And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize