Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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