don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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