I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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