So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
