U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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