WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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