i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
