I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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