Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
