You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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