what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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