Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
