how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
