p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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