He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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