i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
