if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
