Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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