We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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