i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize