My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
