Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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