I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
