So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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