I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
