and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
