We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
