I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
