I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
