there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
