After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
