do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
