He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
