He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
