he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
