I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Enjoy the penises
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize