I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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