I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
