you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
