the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
