The maid of honor just puked.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
how drunk are you?
Several
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
