how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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