i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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