I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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