if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
