The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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