he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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